GarfBob SquareField
by garfieldodie
Summary: Garfield meets SpongeBob in this whimsical tale. Jon has purchased SpongeBob, and we all know what Garfield does when Jon brings a fish home. Uh oh. COMPLETE!
1. Hook Up, Up and Away!

A goldfish swam silently throughout the small fishbowl. It wasn't expecting anything bad to happen that day.

However, the predator was slowly stalking up towards it.

The fish sensed danger and whirled around just in time to see a pair of jaws.

A gigantic mouth instantly closed over it, sealing its fate.

Garfield let out a small burp.

"Hmm…," he muttered. "Not bad. Kind of yelled a little on the way down, though."

It was that instant that Jon Arbuckle walked in and saw the empty fishbowl.

"Huh," he commented. "An empty fishbowl, splashed water and a fat cat with a contented smile."

There was a brief pause.

"Something is wrong here," Jon said decidedly.

Garfield grinned.

"Sorry, cats. You can't have him," he chuckled. "He's taken."

In fact, it wasn't until very long after Garfield left that Jon put two and two together, and he got four.

Then he realized that Garfield had eaten the fish.

Garfield and Odie were sitting in the living room watching the tube.

"GARFIELD!" Jon screamed.

"You screamed?" Garfield asked casually.

"Garfield, would you care to explain this?"

Jon held up the empty fish bowl.

"It followed me home," Garfield replied.

Jon rolled his eyes.

"Do you know how many goldfish I've bought this year alone?" he demanded.

"About one thousand, five hundred and six?" Garfield guessed.

"About one thousand, five hundred and eight!" Jon snapped.

"Oh, right. Two died from natural causes."

Jon stomped back to the kitchen to growl and grumble.

Garfield shook his head.

"Honestly, Odie, I don't see why he keeps buying pet fish," he sighed. "He already has _me_! Aren't I enough?"

Odie thought it best not to reply.

"You know what _I_ want? I want Jon to buy something other than a fish. Maybe an octopus!"

Odie made a disgusted noise.

"You're right; too inky. How about a starfish?"

Odie shook his head.

"Yeah, too fattening. Crabs?"

He got a no to that one too.

"Perhaps they are a bit too rich. I dunno. I'd just like something a bit more exotic to go down my throat kicking and screaming."

* * *

"ORDER UP, SQUIDWARD!" SpongeBob sang happily.

Squidward groaned angrily as he took the tray that SpongeBob was handing him.

"Thank you, Sir Sings-a-Lot," he muttered. He handed the tray to the customer. "Here ya go. I Super-Duper-Double-Looper-Triple Patty Supreme. My condolences."

"Thanks!" said the idiot fish.

The Krusty Krab was hopping with business on this fine afternoon. The lunch shift had just ended, and the customer number was reasonable once again.

SpongeBob grinned happily as he touched his spatula down on the grill.

It made a cool noise.

_SSSSSSS_

"I just _love_ that sound!" SpongeBob cheered. "It's the sound of hard work and fun, fun, fun!"

_SSSSSS! SSSSSS! SSSSSS! SSSSSSS! SS! SSS! SSSSS!_

The hissing was getting to Squidward who finally decided to do something about it.

"ENOUGH WITH THE HISSING ALREADY!" he screamed.

He caught his breath as his eye twitched.

"Sorry, Squidward," SpongeBob said quickly. "But I've been going nuts ever sense work started. I've been flipping like mad back here!"

"Yeah, well, tell me something I didn't already know," Squidward muttered. "Now just get to work. We've got orders waiting."

Just then the double doors to the restaurant burst open.

Mr. Krabs stood there, breathing heavily.

"THEY'RE BACK!" he screamed.

Everyone glanced at him, and then resumed what they were doing.

SpongeBob was the only one with any true concern.

"Who's back, Mr. Krabs?" he asked worriedly.

There was a brief pause.

Mr. Krabs' eyes grew narrow as he looked back and forth quickly amongst everyone.

"…Hooks," he whispered.

Everyone heard _that_.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" they screamed.

Just so you understand, a hook is a fish's worst enemy, and they had already made their mark in Bikini Bottom before a few times.

There was the hook of '92, the Great Hook-Up of '97, and who could forget the SquarePants Hook '00? That one was funny.

"HOOKS!" SpongeBob screamed. "SAVE ME, SQUIDWARD!"

He grabbed onto the grumpy octopus's head.

"Get off of me!" Squidward shouted, prying him off.

Several fish swarmed out of the Krusty Krab, terrified.

"No!" Mr. Krabs cried. "Stay! It's safe in here! Especially if you buy lots of Krabby Patties!"

But they were already gone.

"Well, that scheme certainly backfired," Squidward muttered.

"This be no scheme, Mr. Squidward!" Mr. Krabs hollered. "There do be hooks just waiting to hook your pants and hoist ye away to a gift shop and mayonnaise!"

Squidward yawned and pulled out a magazine.

SpongeBob was terrified.

"I've gotta get out of here!" he screamed.

He still remembered the last time he got in a tangle with a hook.

"Calm yerself, boy!" said Mr. Krabs. "Don't get all loopy on us yet. Just hurry on home and hide out until the terror has past. KRUSTY KREW! DISSMISSED!"

SpongeBob and Squidward left the Krusty Krab.

"What'll we do, Squidward!" asked SpongeBob frantically. "I can't be caught by a hook! I have a snail to feed! HELP ME, SQUIDWARD! I'M GONNA BE SICK!"

Squidward smacked SpongeBob across the face.

"Will you lighten up?" shouted the annoyed octopus. "What are the odds of one of those hooks catching one of us?"

SpongeBob looked at a u-shaped piece of metal swinging down towards them.

"Um, pretty darn good," he said.

Squidward glanced over his shoulder, and gasped.

"RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!" he shouted.

SpongeBob and Squidward whirled around and ran for their homes.

Patrick was sleeping on his rock when they ran past.

"Hey, where's the fire?" he called.

"HOOKS!" shouted SpongeBob and Squidward.

Patrick looked up.

He saw a hook coming towards him.

"Aww, it wants to play with me!" he cooed happily.

"It doesn't want to play, Patrick!" shouted SpongeBob. "It wants to jam us in a tuna jar."

Patrick sat there for a moment.

"Uh…Huh?"

Squidward sighed and showed him a picture of a can of tuna.

Patrick stared for five seconds.

Then his arms started failing and his mouth started screaming.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" he shouted. "HIDE ME! I DON'T WANNA BE A SMELLY SIDEDISH!"

Patrick jumped under his rock and slammed the door.

Squidward ran into his Easter Island house.

SpongeBob made a daring dash for his pineapple.

"GARY! GET THE DOOR OPEN!" he shouted.

But the shout came too late, for at that moment, SpongeBob's square pants were hooked!

"GARY! PATRICK! SQUIDWARD! MR. KRABS! SOMEBODY! SAVE ME!" SpongeBob screamed.

Patrick and Squidward glanced outside.

"SPONGEBOB!" wailed Patrick.

Patrick and Squidward started to run after him as SpongeBob was dragged along the street.

"I can't get it off!" he shouted. "Help! Patrick! Squidward! Get it off!"

"HANG ON, SPONGEBOB! WE'RE COMING!" shouted Patrick.

The hook dragged SpongeBob through traffic.

Boats swerved in order to avoid hitting the little yellow sponge.

Then SpongeBob was dragged through a sea urchin farm.

Uh-oh.

The pointy sea urchins poked him.

"OW! OOCH! EEK! AH! OH! OUCH! AYE! OY! ACK! DOOEY! DOOF! YEOW! YEOUCH!" SpongeBob shrieked.

Once out of there, SpongeBob swung into Mr. Krabs.

"Sorry, Mr. Krabs!"

Mr. Krabs gasped in horror.

"SPONGEBOB, ME BOY!" he wailed. "HANG ON, LAD! WE'RE COMIN'!"

SpongeBob bounced along the ground as Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs continued to chase him.

Suddenly, the poor sponge started to rise into the air.

"HELP!" he screamed. "GET ME DOWN!"

"SPONGEBOB!" screamed the others.

But it was too late.

SpongeBob was hoisted up to the surface.

"SPONGEBOB!" screeched Patrick. "_COME BACK!_"

* * *

The fisherman holding his fishing rod hoisted SpongeBob up.

SpongeBob cowered nervously.

The fisherman dropped him into a fishbowl filled with water.

SpongeBob tried to see through it, but he felt a little dizzy suddenly.

The water was having a weird affect on him.

And with that, SpongeBob SquarePants passed out.


	2. Faraway Places

When SpongeBob woke up, he looked around and observed his surroundings.

"Where am I?" he wondered.

As he walked forward, SpongeBob collided with a glass wall.

"Uh-oh," he said. "Another glass bowl! It's Shell City all over again!"

"Hey, buddy. Relax!" said a voice.

SpongeBob glanced to the side.

There was a heard of sponges of multiple colors sitting nearby.

"Who are you?" SpongeBob asked.

"That's not important," said the lead sponge. "The thing is that you're at a pet shop."

"A what?"

"A pet shop! This is where you'll be purchased and taken home to live with a human."

"What's a human?" asked SpongeBob.

"It's some pale-looking thing with a giant head that has patches of hair and breathes air."

SpongeBob looked outside the glass bowl.

"So how will I get back to Bikini Bottom?"

"I don't know where that is, but I do know that it'd be pretty much impossible," said the sponge. "You're all the way in Muncie, Indiana."

"And how far away is the Pacific Ocean?" asked SpongeBob.

"Well let's see, you leave the building, hang a right, and then walk straight ahead for about five to six thousand miles."

SpongeBob gasped.

"Oh-no! I've got to get home! The Krusty Krab will be a wreck! Gary needs feeding! I NEED MY MOMMY!"

And SpongeBob started to cry.

Not a pretty sight.

The other sponges looked away respectfully.

It was at that moment that the little bells over the door opened.

SpongeBob stopped crying long enough to look up.

He saw a man with brown hair wearing a blue button down shirt, black pants and brown shoes.

"Is that a human?" asked SpongeBob.

The sponges nodded.

Jon Arbuckle stood before the clerk.

"Hi, I'd like buy another fish. One that a cat won't eat," he said.

The clerk sighed.

"Again, Mr. Arbuckle?" he asked. "Why?"

"Because…"

Jon thought for a moment.

"Please, just give me a fish."

"Well, we got a new one in this morning. It's a sea sponge. It's a little strange. For one thing, it has clothes on, it's square and it has appendages."

"Sounds strange," said Jon. "Garfield probably won't eat anything with clothes on. I'll take a look."

The clerk took Jon to the bowl where the sponges were kept.

"It's the yellow square one," said the clerk.

Jon glanced at SpongeBob.

SpongeBob stared up at him.

"I'll take him!" he said. "I'll name him George!"

"Actually, sir, my name is…"

But he was cut off when the clerk scooped SpongeBob out and put him in a little baggy.

Jon got in the car and drove off.

"Come on, George," he said. "I'll take you to your new home."

SpongeBob stared at him.

"But I wanna go back to my old home in Bikini Bottom!" SpongeBob shouted. "And furthermore, my name is SpongeBob SquarePants!"

But Jon didn't hear him.

* * *

Soon Jon returned home.

Garfield was waiting at the door.

"What'dchya bring me?" he asked.

Jon ignored him.

Garfield watched Jon carry a plastic bag towards a goldfish bowl.

He opened it and dumped SpongeBob into the bowl.

"You wait a minute, George," said Jon. "And I'll get you some fish food."

SpongeBob didn't bother correcting him.

Garfield stared at bowl.

"Looks like Jon's brought home something exotic…," he commented. "It would appear to be of the chewy variety. Ah well. Food's food."

Garfield hopped up on the table.

SpongeBob watched Jon from his bowl.

Then he spotted Garfield over his shoulder.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" he screamed.

Garfield reached into the bowl, grinning evilly.

But SpongeBob was such a panicker that he started running and screaming.

It was then that Garfield realized this little square guy had legs.

In fact, this little square guy had shoes and socks, and pants and a tie and a shirt!

Garfield tried hard to get at SpongeBob, but it was no good.

"Will you hold still!" he shouted. "I'm trying to eat you!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!" SpongeBob screamed.

Garfield held his ears.

Never once had a fish _screamed _at him.

Well, there was the Mexican Howler Guppy, but that's another story.

Finally, Garfield managed to grab onto SpongeBob and got him into his mouth.

"Hmm," he commented. "Kind of tastes like polyester."

Just then, something sharp stung his tongue!

"Yeow!" Garfield shrieked.

SpongeBob flew out of his mouth and back into the bowl.

"I bit my tongue!" Garfield groaned.

"Actually _I_ did," SpongeBob replied. "Sorry, but your breath smelled like Snail-Po."

"Huh? What's Snail-Po?"

"Snail food! You know snails! They say 'Meow'!"

"Hey, I'm a cat, and _I'm_ the one who says meow around here!"

Just then Jon entered.

"Oh, Garfield. I see you've met George, my pet sponge," he said.

"It's SpongeBob SquarePants!" SpongeBob hollered. "I'm from Bikini Bottom! I'm a Frycook at the Krusty Krab!"

Jon didn't hear him.

But Garfield did.

Cute, huh?

Jon poured the fish food into the bowl, and then he left.

SpongeBob watched the multi-colored whatchyamacallits float around.

"What's the paper for?" he asked.

"Its fish food," explained Garfield.

"Where are the Krabby Patties?"

"What's a Krabby Patty?"

SpongeBob stared.

"The Krabby Patty is most popular food under the sea! They have patties, cheese, lettuce, onion, mustard, ketchup, pickles and buns all sizzling slightly! No free beverages."

Garfield stared.

Drool was pouring from his mouth.

Kind of like Odie.

Speaking of whom, Odie came bounding along the tabletop to join them.

"Bark!" he said.

"Odie!" gasped Garfield. "Meet SpongeBob, my new friend!"

SpongeBob's heart soared.

"_Friend…?_" he swooned.

"You bet, kid," said Garfield. "Just teach me how to make this Krabby Patty, and you and I will get along just fine."

SpongeBob grinned happily.

Garfield grinned slyly.

Odie grinned…stupidly.

Huh boy.

This should end interestingly.


	3. Fry Cook Kitty

Back in Bikini Bottom, Mr Krabs was at the Krusty Krab.

Patrick, Squidward and Sandy sat before him.

"All right, men!" he started.

"A-_HEM_!" said Sandy.

"And squirrel," Mr Krabs muttered.

Sandy glared.

"We've got a mission!"

Mr Krabs pulled down a chart and pointed at a picture of SpongeBob.

"Exhibit A. Yesterday at fourteen hundred hours-ish, SpongeBob…was _kidnapped_!"

He pulled down another chart. It was a picture of a hook.

"Exhibit B. He was captured by…a _hook_!"

Squidward rolled his eyes.

Mr Krabs pulled down another chart.

"Exhibit C."

He then noticed the blank expressions on everyone's faces.

Patrick looked probably the blankest.

Krabs stared at the chart.

It was a picture of him dancing with a giant seahorse.

"Oop! How'd that get there? Uh…"

Mr Krabs flipped the chart over and revealed a picture of the southwestern hemisphere. He pointed at the tiny island of Bikini Atoll, which was situated above Bikini Bottom.

"Now, after doing some careful calculations, I've estimated that the boat that took SpongeBob went to shore somewhere around here," he said, pointing at a little piece of California.

"How do we get there?" asked Sandy.

"Well, I had _one_ idea, but it's risky," said Mr Krabs.

"You mean pay for a cab?" asked Squidward.

"Nope."

They all leaned in close.

"…by the hooks."

Everyone gasped.

Patrick jumped Mr Krabs.

"_WHAT?_ Are you mad, man!" he shouted.

"I will be if you don't get off me," Krabs snarled.

Patrick got off.

"It's the only way, I'm afraid. If we go via the hooks, we'll catch up with SpongeBob and go wherever he went."

"How do we know we will?" asked Squidward.

"We don't. We just pray we get lucky," replied Mr Krabs.

"LET'S GO!" shouted Patrick.

They all burst out of the Krusty Krab.

There was a pause.

Then Mr Krabs ran back inside and gave the cash register a hug and a kiss.

"Don't worry, baby. Daddy will be back soon," he whispered.

"_MR KRABS!_" everyone shouted.

"COMING!" Krabs shouted, and he ran after them.

"LET'S GO!" shouted Patrick again.

* * *

Back at the Arbuckle house, things were hard to interpret as good or bad.

In order for him to function properly, Garfield had taken one of Jon's contact lenses and bent it into a water helmet for SpongeBob.

So when Jon entered the kitchen to get something to eat, one of his pupils was larger than the other.

"Garfield, have you seen my other contact lens?" he asked.

"Uh…no?" Garfield replied, shaking his head.

Jon got a soda out of the fridge and left.

Garfield stepped aside and revealed SpongeBob.

"Okay, kid. This is the home cooking system above the surface."

SpongeBob stared at the gigantic grill before him.

"Hoo-wee," SpongeBob commented. "The mother of all grills."

"Are you kidding?" Garfield scoffed. "This sissy grill is nothing compared the Grill-Master 850!"

"Uh-huh," said Odie.

SpongeBob then attempted to lift up the gigantic spatula that was near him.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHH!" he wheezed.

Garfield and Odie watched as the puny little sea sponge tried to pick up the spatula.

SpongeBob struggled and wheezed and struggled and wheezed.

"I CAN DO THIS! NO PROBLEMO!"

And he collapsed.

Garfield sighed.

"Okay, new plan," he said. "_Teach_ me how to make a Krabby Patty."

SpongeBob chuckled.

"Ah, dear pussy cat," he said. "You can not merely _teach_ the art of the Krabby Patty. It's instinct. You must be born with the will to fry. Being a Frycook has been my life's ambition. My _dream_! And through careful—"

Garfield grabbed SpongeBob.

"One sponge, down the hatch," he said, opening his mouth.

"OKAY, OKAY! LIGHTEN UP! I'LL TEACH YOU!"

* * *

Garfield held a spatula in his paw and was now staring at a grill.

SpongeBob and Odie were next to him, observing him.

"Okay, first step: turn the grill on," said SpongeBob.

Garfield flipped a switch.

_FOOM!_

The grill started up.

It nearly set Garfield alight.

"Step two," SpongeBob continued. "Place the patty on the grill."

Garfield placed a hamburger patty on the grill.

_SSSSSS!_

"Step three: press the spatula into the patty and it'll make that cool hissing sound again."

Garfield did so.

_SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!_

"Step four: wait one minute."

Garfield waited a minute.

During this time, SpongeBob had counted all his holes, Garfield had cleared his fur of burs, and Odie had, uh, well, just stood there, drooling on his own foot.

Finally, SpongeBob spoke.

"Step five: flip it."

Garfield flipped the patty.

_SSSSSS!_

"Step six: repeat step three."

_SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!_

"Step seven: wait another minute."

_One minute later…_

"Step eight: remove it from the grill and onto a bun."

Garfield took out a pair of tongs and then placed the patty on a bun.

"Step nine: put on ketchup, mustard, pickles, onions, lettuce, cheese, tomatoes, and bun, _in that order!_"

Garfield stared.

Then he pulled out a notepad.

"Say that again?" he asked.

SpongeBob sighed.

"Ketchup, mustard, pickles, onions, lettuce, cheese, tomatoes and bun."

Garfield wrote quickly.

Then he applied ketchup, mustard, pickles…

You know; the works.

"And finally, step ten," said Garfield. "Ring the bell and hand it to the customer."

Garfield stared.

"Uh…what bell?"

Odie ran off and then gave Garfield a set of wind chimes.

"Close enough," said SpongeBob.

Garfield rang the wind chimes, put the Krabby Patty on a chair, and then got on the other side to eat it.

_GULP!_

Garfield ate it down like he eats everything, but he couldn't believe what was going on in his mouth.

"Whoa…," he said. "It's like…_heaven in my mouth_!"

SpongeBob nearly exploded with happiness.

"Really!" he gasped. "Does that mean you'll take me home?"

"Uh……no."

SpongeBob stared.

"What? Why not?"

"Because I might forget how to do this!" Garfield lied. "After all, I have a really short attention span."

Then he looked surprise.

"Why am I talking to a kitchen appliance? And why am I covered in fur?"

SpongeBob glanced at Odie.

Odie just looked confused.

"Huh boy. Fine. I'll stay and help you," sighed SpongeBob.

"Oh thank you, Mister Mop-It-Up," said Garfield, and he went back to the grill.

"Now, what was step one again?"

SpongeBob groaned.

* * *

Patrick, Squidward, Sandy and Mr Krabs had arrived at the field that was filled with hooks.

They were all waving in the current.

"Wow," said Patrick. "It's like a bunch of landmines."

"Thanks for making this easier, Patrick," muttered Squidward.

"Okay, everyone," said Mr Krabs. "We have to move quickly and carefully. One false move and—"

"YEE-HAW!" shouted Sandy.

Patrick, Squidward and Mr Krabs stared in shock.

Sandy was riding one of the hooks like a rodeo bull.

"SANDY!" they all shouted.

"Boy howdy!" Sandy laughed. "This is the best mechanical bull I've ever been on! And it ain't neither mechanical nor a bull!"

"Sandy, be careful!" Patrick warned.

"Come on, boys! This ride only goes up once!"

Patrick, Squidward and Mr Krabs exchanged glances.

Patrick shrugged, and joined Sandy on the giant lure.

"Wheeee!" he cheered.

Mr Krabs followed.

"All ashore that's goin' ashore!" he shouted.

Squidward was the last one.

He still had a chance to turn around and go home.

Nope.

He still owed SpongeBob from so many things he'd forgotten them all.

"Onward and upward," he muttered.

Squidward climbed up onto the lure.

"Raise the anchor, Patrick!" ordered Mr Krabs.

"Aye, aye, Captain Krabs!" said Patrick.

Patrick gave a tug on the fishing line.

_ZOOM!_

Patrick, Squidward and Mr Krabs screamed.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Sandy whooped.

"YEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWW!"

They were all flying up towards the surface.

And to SpongeBob's much-needed rescue.

Finally.


	4. The Krabby Patty Plague

A full day had gone by, and Garfield was enjoying it greatly.

He had had fifteen Krabby Patties, and was currently making his sixteenth.

He was wearing an apron and a chef's hat as he stood at the grill, flipping patties.

Jon walked into backyard and saw him.

"Garfield, what are you doing? We had dinner an hour ago!"

Garfield didn't say anything.

He just grunted and started to build the Krabby Patty.

Jon watched with a blank expression.

"Ummm, are you okay?"

Garfield grunted again.

Jon paused for a moment.

Then he got a little closer and held up his hand.

"How many fingers am I holding up?" he asked.

Garfield grunted again.

"O-_kay_," Jon sighed.

Garfield finished the Krabby Patty and ate it down.

"MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM-_MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!_" he squealed.

He wiped his mouth and went back into the house.

Jon stared at him.

"I could've got that lizard, but _no_! Mom wanted me to get a cat."

Then Jon noticed the piece of paper on the grill.

He picked it up and read it.

"_Krabby Patty_? What the heck…?"

Jon looked at the ingredients.

Then he saw there was still one hamburger patty sitting on the grill.

Jon shrugged and started the process.

Three minutes later, he had a Krabby Patty in his hand.

"Well, here goes nothing," he said.

Jon ate the Krabby Patty.

Suddenly, fireworks went off in his mind.

Jon's eye twitched.

"Wow…," he said.

* * *

The next day, Garfield and Odie were at the table waiting for breakfast.

"Okay, Arbuckle!" Garfield shouted. "Pancakes! Waffles! Eggs! Bacon! Hash browns! Milk! Orange Juice! Coffee! And don't skip on the butter and syrup!"

"Arf!" added Odie.

"Oh yea, and a biscuit for the mutt."

Jon entered the kitchen.

Garfield and Odie stared at him.

Jon's eyes were bloodshot, he was sweaty, he looked incredibly bleak, and he was holding a plate of…

…Krabby Patties?

"Hey, boys," he said. "Krabby Patty?"

Garfield and Odie looked at each other.

"How did he…?"

Jon immediately ate one.

"Isn't this great?" he asked excitedly.

Garfield shrugged.

"Yeah. Now get back to cooking, Arbuckle!"

Garfield shoved a spatula into Jon's hand.

Jon got all tingly inside.

And he ran back outside.

Garfield started eating the Krabby Patties.

Odie watched.

"Bark?"

"Huh? Oh, sure. Take one," said Garfield.

Odie took a Krabby Patty.

It tasted good, but he couldn't find that tingly sensation Garfield and Jon felt.

So he finished his and took another one to the fishbowl.

He gave it to SpongeBob.

"Thanks, Odie," said SpongeBob. "This is terrible! I have to get home! I still have to man the grill at the Krusty Krab!"

Odie just stared and drooled as SpongeBob spoke.

One might think he was listening.

* * *

Meanwhile, Jon was still flipping the Krabby Patties.

Garfield had finished the ones in the kitchen, and now he was ready for more.

"JON! EMERGENCY! WE NEED MORE KRABBY PATTIES IN MY MOUTH!"

Jon started flipping like mad.

Patties were soon flying into the buns, and tomatoes, onions, pickles, and other stuff went flying into sandwiches.

Soon Jon was making five a minute.

Garfield couldn't have been happier.

Once there were thirty sitting in front of him, he started eating them.

While this was going on, the mailman arrived.

"Excuse me, Mr Arbuckle, but do you want your mail?" he asked.

"Just leave it on the table!" Jon said. "Here! Take a free Krabby Patty for your trouble!"

Jon handed the mailman a Krabby Patty.

The mailman stared at it.

"What did you call this?"

But Jon and Garfield were still grilling up a storm.

So the mailman took a bite.

_MUNCH!_

A rainbow seemed to go over the mailman's head.

"Whoa…," he said.

Then he snatched a few more and left.

Jon and Garfield didn't notice.

Odie and SpongeBob watched the mailman run past.

"What's his hurry?" asked SpongeBob.

Odie shrugged.

* * *

I'm sorry to say that the one Krabby Patty had had a pretty big affect on the mailman.

Let's see, where do I start?

He gave some to the guys at work.

Then the guys at work shared them with the customers at the post office.

Then the customers at the post office went home and made their own Krabby Patties.

Soon, everyone in Garfield's town was eating Krabby Patties.

Garfield, Odie, SpongeBob and Jon were still unaware of this.

Garfield and Jon were in the backyard grilling more Krabby Patties.

SpongeBob and Odie were watching.

The world was about to descend into chaos.

* * *

Meanwhile, not far away for the Arbuckle household, three little sea critters were sound asleep under some fake rocks at the pet store.

Finally, a cone-shaped head popped out of the rocks.

"Hello?" asked Patrick.

Patrick managed to climb out of the rocks.

"What happened?"

Then Patrick spied a bunch of starfishes stuck to the glass walls of the fish tank he was in.

Patrick touched the glass wall.

"Where am I?" he asked.

No one was answering.

Patrick didn't no what to do.

No surprise.

Patrick looked around.

There was no sign of Squidward, Mr Krabs or Sandy anywhere.

"Squidward? Sandy? Mr Krabs?" he shouted.

Patrick quickly climbed to the top of the tank and looked around.

Uh-oh.

There was _air_ up there.

And Patrick doesn't like air.

So quickly, Patrick saw another glass bowl just below him.

"Cannonball!" he shouted.

_SPLOOSH!_

Patrick landed in the bowl safely.

Then he looked around.

Hmmmm.

It seemed that he was in a bowl of crabs now.

"Mr Krabs?" he asked. "You in here?"

Just then a pair of eyestalks popped out of the fake rocks.

"Patrick?" he asked. "Where are we?"

"Pet shop," said Patrick. "I've seen this kind of place before. Now comes the part where the Cyclops sneaks up behind me and SpongeBob and attempts to kill us with his heating lamp to turn us into smelly knickknacks."

Mr Krabs stared at him.

"Okay, we just gotta find Sandy and Squidward, and then we get start searching for SpongeBob."

"Well, where do we go?" asked Patrick. "There's _oxygen_ up there. And I don't know what oxygen means, but it sounds dangerous."

Mr Krabs ignored Patrick and started to look around.

Then he saw a tank that read _OCEAN ODDITIES_.

"Oddities, eh? With any luck, Squidward will be in there somewhere."

Mr Krabs climbed out of the bowl.

"Okay, as a crab, I am able to move around on the surface world. Just give me a minute to think of a plan."

"Ooh! Ooh! You could do what SpongeBob and me did once: make it rain!"

"Huh?"

"Yeah, when we woke from being dead, it was raining in Shell City!"

Mr Krabs stared.

Then he saw a match on the floor.

"Bingo!"

Mr Krabs ran over and lit the match with his claw.

A small flame came out of the match, and then started to rise towards the ceiling.

It hit the water sprinklers.

_SWISH!_

The sprinklers sprang open and water rained down.

"WHAT TH—!" shouted the store manager.

The staff started running around.

Patrick immediately jumped out of the crab tank.

"It's raining inside! Hooray!" he cheered.

And he started to frolic in the puddles.

"Now we just gotta find Sandy and Squidward!" said Krabs.

"Up here!" shouted a voice.

Mr Krabs looked up.

Sandy was in a cage up above.

"Get me outta here!" shouted Sandy.

Mr Krabs quickly climbed up the wall towards Sandy's cage.

Meanwhile Patrick was just finishing his frolicking, but then he saw a familiar face in the oddities tank.

"Squidward?" he asked.

Squidward was staring at him through the glass.

He was covered in eels, sea urchins, and a tiny shark was gnawing at his head.

"Yeah, uh, anytime you wanna get me outta here, I'll appreciate it," said Squidward monotony.

Patrick quickly grabbed some fake rocks and hurled them at the glass.

_SMASH!_

The glass tanks shattered, and Squidward tumbled to the floor.

_WHAM!_

"Hey, Squidward! You're flat!" said Patrick.

All the creatures quickly ran away from Squidward.

Patrick quickly peeled him off the floor.

"Hi, Squidward," said Patrick dumbly.

Squidward glared.

Mr Krabs finished climbing to the top, and then used his claw to break open the lock that held Sandy in her cage.

"Okay, boys!" said Sandy. "Let's find SpongeBob."

"But he could be anywhere in this surface world!" objected Squidward.

Just then, a TV came loose from its stand, and it crashed to the floor, just inches away from them.

The TV came on, and a news guy appeared on screen.

"…and in other news," he said, "the entire town is going gaga over a new burger know to us only as the 'Krabby Patty'."

Mr Krabs' eyes popped open.

"**_WHAT?_**" he shouted.

"This burger was originated at the home of a Mr Jon Arbuckle, who says he found the recipe at his house. He made it, and shared it with the world."

Just then, a video of Jon and Garfield appeared on the screen.

Jon was still in his backyard at the grill, making and eating Krabby Patties.

Garfield was right behind him, sitting in a lawn chair, eating them down.

The camera panned across the yard to Odie, was standing there watching them, and holding a fishbowl.

Then Patrick burst out.

"Hey, look! SpongeBob's on TV!" he shouted. "Hi, SpongeBob!"

Sandy, Squidward and Mr Krabs stared in shock at the screen.

In the fishbowl, they could make out the sad and desperate look of SpongeBob SquarePants, watching the scene in despair.

"So, this Jon Arbuckle has our lad, eh?" said Mr Krabs, scratching his chin.

"How do we get there?" asked Squidward.

Suddenly, the cash register was accidentally knocked to the floor.

Out fell a ton of receipts.

Sandy started to dig through the pile.

"Maybe the address is in here somewhere," she said.

After five minutes of searching, Sandy finally found the right one.

"Here it is!" she said.

"But how can we travel without water?" asked Squidward.

"I'll take care of that!" said Sandy.

Sandy immediately got a round jar and filled it with water.

Then she shoved Patrick, Squidward and Mr Krabs into it and put the lid on it.

Then she jumped on top.

"YEE-HAW!" she shouted.

And she started to run backwards, and out the door of the pet shop.

"SANDY!" everyone shouted. "SLOW DOWN! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

But Sandy was off!

"Hang on, boys! We're gonna find this Arbuckle sap!"

And they rode into the sunset.


	5. A Mutt and a Sponge

Garfield lay back on the couch, holding his aching stomach.

"Oooooooh," he moaned. "Who'dah thunk that Krabby Patties were so filling? I only had like, two hundred of them."

SpongeBob was watching from nearby.

"So now that you've had your fill, can I go home now?" he asked timidly.

"Naw, don't worry about me," Garfield said, struggling off the couch. "Quick nap and I'll be fine."

And Garfield drug himself over to his little bed, and he covered himself with the blue blanket.

SpongeBob sighed and moaned.

Odie got up and looked at the little sponge curiously.

"Odie, this is just _awful_!" SpongeBob complained. "I can't stay here forever! I have to go home _some_time!"

Odie just nodded and slobbered.

Just then, Jon came through the door, looking exhausted.

He was carrying several plastic sacks.

"Okay!" he gasped. "I went to the store and got more supplies. Buns, patties, mustard, pickles, mayo, bigger pants…"

"I'm sleeping," Garfield hissed. "Get to work."

Jon ran into the backyard to get started.

Odie and SpongeBob watched.

SpongeBob groaned.

"Ooh, if Mr Krabs finds out about this, he'll kill me!" he wailed. "It's only a matter of time before someone uncovers the secret Krabby Patty formula!"

Odie looked at SpongeBob quizzically.

"That's right, there's a secret formula that can make a Krabby Patty taste _twice_ as good as the one's _you've _been eating right now," SpongeBob explained. "If it ever fell into the wrong hands, it could be used for great evil!"

Odie just continued to stare.

SpongeBob sighed.

"What am I doing talking to you?" SpongeBob muttered.

Then he glanced at the snoozing Garfield.

"And another thing: so far all Garfield's done is demand Krabby Patties, and now he just taunts me," SpongeBob went on. "I'm beginning to think he's not my friend."

Then a little light came on in SpongeBob's mind.

"He's…not…my…friend…," he said slowly.

Odie then noticed that SpongeBob's lower lip was trembling, and tears were coming to his eyes.

"Uh-oh," Odie muttered, and he covered his head.

"WHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" bawled SpongeBob.

Odie stared at the little sponge crying.

Now, over time, Odie had started to grow fond of SpongeBob.

Of course, just last week, Odie had also grown fond of a hairball that Garfield had hacked up.

But that's not the point.

Odie stuck his tongue in the fishbowl, and gave SpongeBob a great big wet lick.

"_SLURRRRRRP_!"

SpongeBob wiped his tears away and stared at Odie, who was grinning stupidly.

"Well…," he said quietly. "At least you're my friend, Odie."

Odie barked happily and ran around the bowl in circles.

Jon heard the noise and came in.

"Odie, what are you doing? You're going to smash George's bowl!"

"SPONGEBOB!" SpongeBob screeched.

Odie skidded to a halt and got a look at Jon.

This guy had two Krabby Patties in his hands, and he hadn't shaved in weeks. His body odor was building up. His hair was a mess. He was sweating.

But the strong aroma of Krabby Patties woke Garfield up.

"FOOD!" he shouted.

Garfield ran over and took the Krabby Patties and ate them.

"Hey!" said Jon. "Those were mine!"

"Make more! Step on it!" Garfield shouted, and he shoved Jon outside.

SpongeBob and Odie stared.

Odie then grabbed the bowl and took SpongeBob to the TV. Odie took the remote and turned it on.

For five minutes, Odie and SpongeBob just sat there, watching a bunch of dogs bowling for biscuits.

Dog humor.

SpongeBob just sat there, starting to cheer up a little.

And all that cheeriness came a-tumblin' down when a news reporter came on.

This guy was eating a Krabby Patty as he ate.

"Hello, I'm So-And-So, and this is a breaking news story," he said between bites. "First of all, obesity has jumped up through the world, and the rumored cause is said to be these Krabby Patties. But I don't see how. I've only had about six or seven…thousand."

SpongeBob stared in horror.

"Uh-oh!"

Odie stared and frowned.

"Also, scientists in Muncie, Indiana are trying to uncover a so-called 'secret formula' that is rumored to make these Krabby Patties taste twice as good."

SpongeBob's eyes snapped open.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he shrieked.

Odie arched an eyebrow at him.

Well, actually, Odie doesn't have eyebrows, so he just did something with his eyelids that resembled it.

"They're gonna uncover the Krabby Patty formula!" he shrieked. "We have to stop them!"

Odie was confused.

SpongeBob sighed.

"We're going for a walk, boy!" he said.

Odie jumped up in excitement.

"Bark! Bark!"

"Yes, yes, calm down. Get your leash and a skateboard," SpongeBob ordered.

Odie stared for a second.

"Huh?" he asked.

* * *

Odie was soon running down the sidewalks with the leash around his neck, and the other end was connected to a skateboard.

On the skateboard was SpongeBob's fishbowl, which was tapped down to it.

"Hurry, Odie! Hurry!" shouted SpongeBob. "We have to hurry!"

"Arf!" replied Odie, who tore down the streets into town.

* * *

Back at the house, Garfield was walking back inside.

His stomach was twice it's usual round size, and he was trying hard to get into bed.

"Just need another nap, and I'll be able to eat another six hundred Krabby Patties," he muttered to himself, pulling the blanket over his bloated body.

Then he glanced at the table.

"So, SpongeBob, how's tricks?" he asked.

But then he saw something odd.

No SpongeBob.

No fishbowl.

"Wha…?" Garfield wondered.

Garfield struggled up onto the table and looked around.

"SpongeBob? Oh, SpongeBob?" Garfield shouted. "Come out, come out, wherever you are!"

Jon entered.

"Garfield, I'm exhausted and stuffed. I'm going to bed," he moaned.

And Jon left.

Garfield stared.

"But Jon! George is missing! Gone! Vanished! Possibly turned invisible!"

Then Garfield noticed something else.

"Hey, where's Odie?"

Just then, the door burst open.

Garfield looked, hoping it was Odie or SpongeBob.

But it wasn't.

It was jar filled with water, and a squirrel wearing bikini was on it.

And inside were a starfish, a crab, and an octopus, and they all looked ill.

"Next time, we take a bus," muttered Squidward.

Then Patrick looked at Garfield.

"Hey!" he said. "It's the orange basketball we saw on TV!"

Sandy stared Garfield.

"That's a cat, Patrick," she said.

Garfield walked over to them.

"Uh…I'm sorry, but I've never greeted a bunch of sea creatures at my front door before, so I don't know what to do here," he said nervously.

Sandy suddenly growled and leapt from the jar, and took Garfield down.

Garfield was surprised.

"Hey, what're you doing?" he demanded as he struggled to get up.

"WHERE'S SPONGEBOB, YOU POT-BELLIED VARMINT!" she yelled.

"Hey, I'm big-boned. Lighten up," Garfield snapped. "And second, I don't know _where_ the heck he is. But I have a feeling the mutt known as Odie might have a hunch."

Mr Krabs opened up the jar and got out.

"Odie, huh?" he said. "Never heard _that_ name before."

"Sounds like a genius' name," said Patrick.

Garfield stared at Patrick.

"Uh…no. And I'm starting to think you'd get along with Odie just fine."

Krabs suddenly jumped onto Garfield's head.

"All right, cat. Start talkin'. Ye've been eatin' me Krabby Patties!"

"Those were yours?" asked Garfield.

Krabs glared.

Garfield sighed.

"Fine, I'll start from the beginning…"


	6. Ain't There Anything Else On?

At a crosswalk, Odie and SpongeBob were waiting for a light to change to green.

While they waited, SpongeBob was reading a map that was on a wall.

"Let's see…we have to go another five miles," he said. He began to write the directions down.

Odie got back from rusting a fire hydrant and reattached himself to the leash.

SpongeBob finished writing.

The light changed to green.

"Okay, Odie," said SpongeBob. "We cross the street here, and then we carry on for the next three intersections, and then we hang a left."

"Bark!" answered Odie.

And Odie started running across the street towards the other side.

People in their cars stared in confusion at the strange sight of a yellow mutt pulling a fish bowl on a skateboard.

SpongeBob saw them and waved.

Everyone just stared at him.

They got to the other side, and Odie started trotting down the street.

"One intersection down…," said SpongeBob. "About fifteen more to go."

Hoo boy.

* * *

Garfield, Patrick, Squidward, Sandy and Mr Krabs sat in the easy chair before the TV.

Garfield had just finished telling the story.

"…and now Krabby Patties are a pandemic up here on the surface world," he was saying. "And now Odie and SpongeBob have disappeared and I have no idea where they are."

Mr Krabs thought for a moment.

"Hmmm…," he thought. "I wonder if I could open a Krusty Krab somewhere in town."

Everyone rolled their eyes.

"What do we do now?" asked Squidward.

"There's only one thing to do in a time like this," said Patrick.

Patrick jumped onto the TV remote.

The TV came on.

"We watch the tube and hope for a randomly placed answer hidden in the program."

"Letting TV do the thinking?" Garfield asked. "Genius!"

Squidward groaned.

"I'm _surrounded_ by idiots," he moaned.

The TV show was on the news again.

"Welcome back to the news," said the anchor.

"Strange," said Garfield. "Is this the only thing on television during this story?"

"Now in our traffic-copter, Mr Fill-in-the-Blank," said the anchor.

"Thank you, So-and-So," said Fill-in-the-Blank. "We seem to have a bit of a traffic jam through the Metropolitan area, but otherwise it looks like its all clear through the inter…"

Fill-in-the-Blank seemed to trail off and stare.

"Uh, So-and-So, you're not gonna believe this, but there appears to be a yellow dog tied to a skateboard and pulling a fishbowl on it."

"Yellow dog?" asked Garfield.

"Fish bowl?" asked Squidward, Sandy and Krabs.

"Tied?" asked Patrick.

And the camera zoomed in on Odie and SpongeBob who didn't seem to notice.

"Odie!" cried Garfield.

"SpongeBob!" cried Squidward, Sandy and Krabs.

"Sidewalk!" cried Patrick.

"That's interesting, Fill-in-the-Blank, but I'm sure that no one cares," said So-and-So. "Anyway, in other news, scientists are still trying to uncover the rumored Krabby Patty secret formula, and are making some progress. For instance, they know now that it doesn't involve milk, water or sweat. We'll bring you more as the story continues."

Garfield stared. "Secret formula?"

"Me formuler!" Mr Krabs shrieked. "They're gonna find out what it is!"

"So?"

"It's supposed to be a secret!"

"Huh," Garfield sighed. "Well, it's not my problem. Have fun, guys."

But as Garfield started to leave, Krabs jumped him.

"Oh no, ye don't!" the salty crustacean snarled. "Ye're the cause of all this, and now ye're fixin' it!"

"_My _fault?" Garfield snorted.

"Yes, _yer _fault," Krabs said. "_Ye're_ the one who made SpongeBob make those Krabby Patties. _Ye're_ the one who shared me recipe with the world. _Ye're _the one who's gonna stop them from discoverin' me formuler!"

Garfield considered this.

Then he considered how stupid he looked being pinned down by a crab.

"Fine…," he muttered. "I'll take you to the laboratory."

"Good," Mr Krabs said, finally releasing him.

"SpongeBob and the mutt are probably heading there already," said Sandy.

"Must be," said Krabs. "We'll have to catch up and help 'em. C'mon, ye filthy feline! Up and at 'em!"

Garfield, moaning and complaining, got up and started to walk towards the kitchen.

He reached inside the closet and pulled out Jon's spare contacts.

He bent them into the appropriate shapes, and then filled them with water, and then placed them on the heads of Patrick and Squidward.

"Wow!" said Squidward. "Everything's like, fifty times clearer!"

"Okay, climb aboard," Garfield said flatly.

Everyone climbed onto Garfield's body.

Patrick and Sandy sat between his ears.

Mr Krabs sat on his left shoulder.

Squidward sat on his right shoulder.

"Onward!" shouted Mr Krabs, pointing a claw the door.

Garfield reared up onto his hind legs, leapt forward, and ran out the door.

In the process, he knocked over the mailman.

The fat cat ran to the front yard and looked around.

Once he chose a direction to go in, Garfield set off.

"Hang on, SpongeBob!" yelled Patrick. "The orange basketball's coming to the rescue!"

Garfield snarled at Patrick.

* * *

Odie and SpongeBob rocketed along the sidewalks.

"Okay, Odie, we're almost there!" SpongeBob shouted. "Just hang a right at this corner!"

"Arf!" agreed Odie.

Man, they're a team.

And they're both yellow.

Ever notice that?

Odie turned right and turned around a building.

"Okay, it's three buildings down," said SpongeBob, reading the directions.

Odie ran for a few buildings, and then made it to a gigantic building that had giant smokestacks and lots of cars coming in and out.

"Wow," said SpongeBob. "Looks cute."

Odie stared.

"Okay, ditch the skateboard," said SpongeBob.

Odie pulled SpongeBob's fishbowl off the skateboard and tossed it.

"Good. Now let's sneak inside."

"Bark!" said Odie confidently.

Odie checked to make sure nobody was watching, and then snuck up to the gate.

There he saw a security camera.

Odie froze.

Then a truck went past them.

When it was gone, so were Odie and SpongeBob.

Odie clung to the side of the truck, SpongeBob's fishbowl in his teeth.

Slowly, Odie climbed up onto the top.

They approached the building garage.

SpongeBob spotted a vent.

"Quick!" said SpongeBob. "Jump into the vent."

Odie positioned himself, and when the truck started to enter the garage, Odie jumped up and dove into the vent.

The water in the bowl sloshed everywhere.

"Easy!" said SpongeBob, who was flying around in the bowl.

Once his water settled, he got to his feet.

"Okay, we'll crawl through here and search for the guys who are researching it," he ordered.

Odie nodded, and pushed him forward.


	7. Odie to the Rescue!

Odie finally managed to wiggle his way out of the air vent, and then grabbed fish bowl. He slowly made his way to the floor.

"Good job, Odie," SpongeBob said. "Now we just need to find the place with the Krabby Patties."

"Urf!" said Odie.

Odie peeked around a corner, the fishbowl tight in his grasp. Then he ran down the hall to the next corner.

Next he checked to make sure it was clear again.

Just when they were about to run down another hall, they heard footsteps.

"Quick! Hide!" SpongeBob hissed.

Odie looked around frantically.

He spotted a broom closet and dove inside.

Odie peeked out the window to look.

A man in a lab coat was walking past, pushing a cart.

And on the cart was a jumbo load of Krabby Patties!

Odie barked triumphantly and held the bowl up for SpongeBob to see.

"Krabby Patties!" he cheered. "We need to follow him!"

Odie nodded and slunk out of the closet.

Keeping as quiet as he could, he tiptoed behind the man, diving behind various objects in the hall.

Finally, the man pushed the cart through a door and disappeared.

Odie dashed inside.

He failed to see the name on the window that was on the door.

**MAIN LAB. NO ADMITTANCE. KEEP OUT. INTRUDERS SHALL BE IMPRISONED AT ONCE.

* * *

**

Garfield was still running down the road.

No, check that.

He was _waddling_ down the road.

"Can't you go any faster?" Squidward complained.

"Can't you get a less nasal voice?" Garfield shot back.

Then Patrick saw smoke pouring into the sky.

"Hey, look!" he shouted. "The sky's on fire!"

Garfield glanced at the smoke.

"Naw, that's just the building we're going to. We just need to get in somehow."

"How?" asked Sandy.

Garfield paused for a second.

Then he got an idea.

* * *

Garfield stood at the gate.

Patrick, Squidward, Mr Krabs and Sandy hid behind a cement block.

"Wait for it…," he whispered.

A man in a trench coat walked up.

Garfield glanced at the others.

"Watch this."

The man was about to enter when he heard a noise.

"Meow."

He looked down and saw Garfield putting on his most hideously cute face.

"Mew. Mrrrow."

Squidward grimaced.

"Oh, that is _disgusting_," he muttered.

"Well, hello, little kitty," the man said.

"Here it comes," Garfield said.

The man went to pet Garfield.

And that was the cue.

"Now!" said Garfield.

"HI-YAH!" screamed Sandy.

Sandy leapt from the hiding place and karate chopped the man to ground.

"AHH! MAD SQUIRREL! MAD SQUIRREL!" he shouted.

"HO-YAH! HA! HO! YEE-AH!" Sandy screeched.

Finally, the man tipped over and collapsed on the ground, unconscious.

"Nice," said Garfield.

"Shoot, that was nothin'," said Sandy modestly.

Garfield quickly yanked the trench coat off of the man and handed it to Mr Krabs.

Krabs used his claws to cut the coat down to size until it fit Garfield.

Then Garfield put on the coat, a pair of sunglasses, and the rain hat.

Everyone dove into the pockets.

"Let's go," said Garfield coolly.

Garfield walked around the corner and towards the gate.

The security camera looked at him.

Garfield simply waved, flashed an ID tag, and carried on his way.

The camera did nothing else.

Once they were a safe distance away, Patrick glanced out of the pocket.

"We're in!" he whispered.

Garfield nodded and entered the front door.

He glanced around the building and searched. He ran towards a desk and searched the papers.

Mr Krabs jumped out and looked around them.

"Let's see…," he said. "K…K…K…Kr…Kra…Krabby Patty! Here we go!"

Krabs handed Garfield the portfolio.

"Floor six. Main lab," he said.

Krabs jumped back into the pocket, and Garfield ran into the elevator and pressed the button.

* * *

Back in the lab, Odie and SpongeBob were staring at what they saw.

Several guys in lab coats running around, holding Krabby Patties, putting them under rulers, getting sauce samples, putting lettuce under microscopes, looking at a Krabby Patty diagram, and so on and so forth.

"Wow," said SpongeBob.

"Hmmm," said Odie.

SpongeBob looked around and saw the cart of Krabby Patties.

There was a clipboard on it.

"Quick! Over there!" SpongeBob said.

Odie saw the cart, and slipped and slunk past everyone until he was able to hide under the cart and grab the clipboard. He set it up for SpongeBob to read.

"Let's see… Wow, I think some of this stuff is Norwegian. No, wait a minute! It says the formula is almost figured out!" SpongeBob gasped.

"I'VE ALMOST FIGURED IT OUT!" a voice shouted.

Odie and SpongeBob looked up.

A man in a lab coat was holding up a piece of paper.

"It's right here!" he said eagerly.

SpongeBob gasped.

"We've got to stop him!" he wailed.

Odie growled and leapt from cart.

"The secret formula is—"

"BARK!"

Everyone looked up for a brief second as Odie collided with him and knocked him to the ground.

"AAAHH!"

_CRASH!_

Out in the hall, Garfield was walking when he heard the noise come outside the door.

"Quick! In there!" shouted Krabs.

Garfield ran into the main lab and gasped.

"What in the world…?" he asked.

Odie had sunk his teeth into the scientist's hand and was growling.

"OUCH! OUCH! STOP IT! HELP! GET HIM OFF!"

"GO, ODIE! GO, ODIE! GO, GO, GO!" cheered SpongeBob, who was jumping up and down in the bowl. "DESTORY THE PAPER SO NO ONE WILL KNOW! YAY!"

"SpongeBob!" exclaimed Patrick.

"Patrick!" cried SpongeBob, overjoyed to see his best friend again.

Patrick, Squidward, Sandy and Krabs jumped out of Garfield's pocket and ran towards the fishbowl.

"SpongeBob, me boy! Are ye alright?" Krabs shouted.

"I'm fine," Mr Krabs," said SpongeBob. "Odie and me just saved the formula!"

"'At's me boy! Now let's get out of here!"

"But wait!" said SpongeBob. "The formula's still not safe! We've gotta destroy everything to keep the formula from being discovered again."

"Well, what'll we do?" asked Squidward, who jumped away from a sudden collapsing pipe.

"Just smash stuff!" said SpongeBob.

"Smashing stuff! Awesome!" whooped Patrick.

And everyone set to work…at destroying stuff.

This should be fun.


	8. Homeward Bound

"ATTACK!" SpongeBob shouted.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" everyone shouted.

Odie, Patrick, Squidward, Sandy and Mr Krabs all dove into the mess.

Garfield went over to SpongeBob's bowl.

"Okay, long story short," he said. "I'm sorry; here's your helmet thingy."

Garfield gave SpongeBob a water helmet (or Jon's contact lens).

"Thanks!" said SpongeBob.

He put the helmet on and dove into the crowd.

Garfield watched as the wreck ensued.

Then he glanced at the millions of piles of Krabby Patties lying everywhere.

"Might as well destroy the witnesses," he said.

He licked his lips and dove into the first pile.

Sandy jumped up onto the paper shredder and started throwing all the research down it.

"Stop!" shouted an employee.

He ran to grab Sandy, but all of a sudden, Mr Krabs was on him.

"Catch me if ye can, ye smelly land-lubber!" he shouted.

And he pinched this guy's nose.

Ever been pinched on the nose by a crab?

"YEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW!" he screamed.

Patrick ran up to Odie.

Odie picked him up and tossed him into the air.

Then Odie used his tongue to bat Patrick across the room.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUGGH!" Patrick screamed.

Patrick landed _SPLAT_ in the face of a man carrying papers, and knocked him to the ground.

When he recovered, he saw a chubby pink starfish staring at him.

"Hi," said Patrick dopily. "Here for the party?"

The man passed out.

SpongeBob and Sandy found themselves cornered by a bunch of scientists.

They both got sly grins.

"You thinkin' what _I'm_ thinkin'?" asked Sandy.

"Kara-tay?" asked SpongeBob.

"You betcha!"

Suddenly, SpongeBob and Sandy were wearing their karate gear, and were immediately flying through the air.

"HHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIII!" shouted SpongeBob.

"HEEEEEYYYY-YAH!" crowed Sandy.

It was a mess as everyone went down screaming.

"MAD SPONGE! MAD SQUIRREL!" they hollered.

"Take this!" said SpongeBob, punching a guy's tooth out.

"Take _that_!" said Sandy, tripping somebody else.

"And all of ya, take _this_!" they shouted.

And they punched everyone else to the ground.

What was Squidward doing during all this?

He was hiding amongst the computers. He wasn't in the mood to attack.

Odie jumped over the computer Squidward was behind, and took a man down, causing a computer to crash to the floor.

Then Mr Krabs cut some cables with his claws.

Patrick spilled a glass of water on a keyboard, causing the computer to flicker, and then shut down.

Garfield watched this all while eating Krabby Patties and simply being a lazy cat.

Then he noticed Squidward hiding behind the computer next to him.

Garfield got a devious grin.

He extended a claw and poked Squidward on the butt.

"YEEEEEEEE-OOOOOOOOWWWW!" shrieked Squidward, who went sailing through the air and landing someone's face.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHH!" the scientist screamed. "SLIMY! SQUISHY! EW! EW!"

He tripped over a cord (bringing down a computer and a fax machine) and Squidward went sailing into the water cooler.

_SPLASH!_

"Everybody's a critic," Squidward muttered.

SpongeBob, Patrick, Mr Krabs, Sandy and Odie stood in the middle of the room, observing the damage they'd made.

"What happened?" asked Patrick.

"I think we did it!" said MR Krabs.

SpongeBob observed.

Hmmm…

Every single piece of paper was shredded.

Garfield had nearly eaten everything.

All the computers were destroyed.

Everyone was unconscious.

"Yeah, we're good," he said.

"Nice!" shouted Squidward. "NOW GET ME OUT OF HERE!"

"On the contrary, Mr Squidward," said Mr Krabs. "We'll be joining _you_!"

At once, SpongeBob, Patrick and Mr Krabs dove into the water cooler.

Sandy got her diving suit back on, and got in with them.

"Let's go!" said Garfield.

Odie grabbed the water cooler, and followed Garfield out of the room.

* * *

Garfield and Odie ran to the airport, still carrying the cooler. 

Everyone was bouncing around inside of it.

"SLOW DOWN!" shouted Squidward.

Suddenly, Patrick landed on his head.

"Hi, Squidward!" he said.

Then Patrick flew off, leaving Squidward with a flat head.

"_PLEASE_ SLOW DOWN!" pleaded Squidward.

Garfield and Odie dove inside and started to search for some carriers.

"Okay," said Garfield. "Despite my better judgment, we need some pet carriers so we can travel to California and drop you off," said Garfield.

"Bark!" said Odie.

Garfield looked around and saw the flight schedule.

"There's a flight for San Diego in fifteen minutes!" he said. "Run, Odie! Run!"

Garfield and Odie jumped into a pet carrier.

Garfield ripped a tag off another suitcase, and placed it on the carrier.

Someone picked up the carrier and placed it on the conveyor belt.

They slid all over the place on various ramps.

"WHEEEEEE!" cheered SpongeBob, Patrick and Odie.

"YEEE-HAW!" whooped Sandy.

"THAR SHE BLOWS!" shouted Mr Krabs.

"MOMMY!" screamed Garfield and Squidward.

* * *

Finally, the carrier was tossed into the plan. 

And I mean _really_ tossed.

_CRASH!_

"Ow!" yelled Garfield. "Gentle! We've got passengers!"

"Where are we?" asked Squidward.

Patrick looked around the luggage storage.

"It's a corrugated jungle!" he exclaimed. "Hand me my machete, SpongeBob."

SpongeBob stared at him.

"Uh, Patrick, you don't _have _a machete," he said.

"I don't?"

"No. In fact, you're not even allowed to touch sharp objects anymore."

"Tarter sauce," muttered Patrick.

* * *

After a five hour flight, they were released from the plane, and Garfield and Odie got on a bus for the beach. 

SpongeBob looked out the window.

"Palm trees! We're nearly home now!" he said happily.

"Good," said Garfield. "Can't wait to get rid of you and your mouth."

"On second thought, maybe I'll stay," said Squidward.

"Oh no," said Garfield. "I don't need anymore of you guys in _my_ house."

The bus pulled up to the beach, and Garfield and Odie took the others to a speed boat.

"Get in," said Garfield.

"Arf!" said Odie, who obeyed.

They put on their lifejackets and started the boat up.

"Off we go!"

The boat pulled away from the dock.

The man who owned the boat yelled as they pulled away.

* * *

Finally, the boat arrived at the familiar green island named Bikini Atoll. 

"Here we are!" cried SpongeBob. "Bikini Bottom's directly bellow."

"Open it up, boy," said Garfield.

"Bark!"

Odie opened the top on the water cooler and prepared to pour it.

"Wait!" said SpongeBob.

SpongeBob jumped out of the cooler and hugged Odie's nose.

"Thanks for your help, Odie," he said.

Odie smiled and gave SpongeBob a big wet lick.

_SLURRRRP!_

"See around, boy."

SpongeBob then turned to Garfield.

There was a long awkward pause.

"Um, thanks for the ride," SpongeBob muttered.

"And thanks for the food," said Garfield.

"CAN WE HURRY THIS UP!" demanded Squidward.

"All right, all right. Beam them down, Odie," Garfield ordered.

"Bark."

Odie waved goodbye one last time, and let the water in the cooler pour.

"WATER SLIDE!" cheered Patrick.

Everyone slid down and tumbled back to Bikini Bottom.

_SPLOOSH!_

Garfield and Odie watched them float away.

"Finally!" groaned Garfield. "I hope I never see or hear from another sponge in my entire life."

Odie nodded, and then steered the boat back to shore.

* * *

Back in Bikini Bottom, SpongeBob, Patrick, Sandy, Squidward and Mr Krabs landed on the ocean floor. 

"HOME!" cheered SpongeBob, running over to his pineapple house. "Oh, pineapple house! I'm back! We can resume our lives together right now!"

Squidward let out weary sigh.

"Home at last," he muttered. "I'm going to do some serious sleeping."

And with that, he stalked back to his Easter Island house.

"Well, I gotta get home too," said Sandy. "I could use a bit of shuteye."

Sandy turned and went home to her tree dome.

Mr Krabs pat SpongeBob on the shoulder.

"Good job, me boy," he said. "The formula's safe and sound."

"No problem, Mr Krabs," said SpongeBob. "Just one question: what was wrong with everyone on the surface world finding out the Krabby Patty formula? They hardly affect us."

Krabs shrugged.

"I dunno. I just like to keep it secret. Life would be pretty dull without that secret, eh, me boy?"

"Yeah," said SpongeBob. "Maybe _too_ exciting."

"Well, see ya at work tomorrow, SpongeBob," said Krabs, and he skittered away for home.

"Hey, SpongeBob!" said Patrick. "What do now?"

"Gee, I dunno," said SpongeBob. "Nap?"

"Hey, I just realized that that's exactly what I was doing before all this started!"

And Patrick hustled over to his rock and dove underneath it to snore his life away.

SpongeBob sighed and entered his house.

"Gary! I'm home!" he shouted. "And I don't plan on leaving for a long time!"

"Meow!" said Gary.

* * *

Back at the Arbuckle household, Garfield and Odie were limping home. 

"Finally," Garfield sighed. "Home sweet home."

"Woof," said Odie wearily.

They entered the house and saw Jon sitting at the TV.

"Did you guys here?" he asked. "The Krabby Patty recipe is lost! No one can make Krabby Patties without it!"

"Good!" said Garfield. "No more Krabby Patties for me. From now on, it's just regular burgers for yours truly."

And Garfield and Odie approached Garfield's little bed.

"Phew," he sighed. "Well, Odie, it seems as though you've saved the day."

Odie grinned proudly.

"Yeah, by saving a burger recipe that had intoxicated all of the state."

Odie nodded.

"And I guess I should admit that it was my fault."

Odie nodded again.

"But I won't, because I've decided to go into denial about this whole situation."

Odie stared at him.

"Yep, I've decided that this never happened. We never ate Krabby Patties, I didn't meet SpongeBob, and I didn't spend ten hours in a plane in a carrier with you just to take him and his little pals back to Bikini Bottom, which, as far as I'm concerned, doesn't exist."

Odie shrugged.

"Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to sleep."

Odie nodded and left to sleep on Jon's bed.

Garfield pulled his blue blanket over him, snuggled up to Pooky, and shut his eyes.

Unfortunately, SpongeBob's laughter was stuck in his brain.

So for the entire night, he heard "Dah, ha, ha, ha!" being chanted all through the night.

It would be a long night.


End file.
